What is the problem you want to have?

“We’re all seeking that special person who is right for us. But if you’ve been through enough relationships, you begin to suspect there’s no right person, just different flavors of wrong. Why is this? Because you yourself are wrong in some way, and you seek out partners who are wrong in some complementary way. But it takes a lot of living to grow fully into your own wrongness. And it isn’t until you finally run up against your deepest demons, your unsolvable problems—the ones that make you truly who you are—that we’re ready to find a lifelong mate. Only then do you finally know what you’re looking for. You’re looking for the wrong person. But not just any wrong person: the right wrong person—someone you lovingly gaze upon and think, “This is the problem I want to have.”

I will find that special person who is wrong for me in just the right way.

Let our scars fall in love.” 

~ Galway Kinnell

Fulfillment

...we, each of us, are responsible for our own fulfillment.


“When we're incomplete, we're always searching for somebody to complete us. When, after a few years or a few months of a relationship, we find that we're still unfulfilled, we blame our partners and take up with somebody more promising. This can go on and on -- series polygamy -- until we admit that while a partner can add sweet dimensions to our lives, we, each of us, are responsible for our own fulfillment. Nobody else can provide it for us, and to believe otherwise is to delude ourselves dangerously and to program for eventual failure every relationship we enter.”


~Tom Robbins

Wanting badly to save us...

Mules

BY JANE SPRINGER

When they told us Don’t speak until spoken to, we grew
ears the size of corn.

When they forced us to eat everything we swallowed
their hurt whole.

When they hit us for drawing on the wall we painted
doors that opened behind curtains.

For generations they lived like this. Wanting badly to
save us—not knowing how.

& all the while we found love in unlikely places: In
the ravaged church of our bodies & our faces,

refracted in their long faces.